I told Addison it was time for an interview...
He didn't look too excited.
His Uncle Ron told him to 'shape up or ship out.' Addison just laughed since he knew his plane was leaving tomorrow morning anyway.
Question #1: What is your name?
He had to think about this for a minute or two...
"Um? Addison Ocho Cinco, " he answered.
2. What's your favorite number?
"Trienta y dos," Addison answered. Then he asked, "Will this entire interview be in Spanish?"
I assured him it would not...seeing as I don't know much Spanish!
3. Who is your favorite aunt in California?
(He wanted to know if this was a trick question. I assured him it was NOT!"
"You?"
I told him that was a good answer.
4. What do you like better about California than Texas?
"This is going to take awhile..."
Addison thought about it, then he started his list...
"In no particular order: weather, progressiveness, outdoor activities, bike lanes in the state, terrain..."
As he paused to think, I asked, "What about relatives?"
Addison said ... well, he paused, dropped the subject and added to his list...
"horticulture, the localism of it all."
5. Describe the Co-op.
Addison contemplated his next answer. His ultra conservative Uncle Ron was sitting within throwing distance of him...so he thought about it awhile, hoping his Uncle Ron would drop off to sleep before he answered.
"It's a good place to meet Humboldt Hunnies," he answered. Addison said he had seen two HHs who had hair on their legs longer than his.
Don't be worried, Texans, he wasn't impressed!
6. Describe Gnarlyhead.
"Um, well, it's like drinking flavored water. It just flows down easy. Actually, I might need another glass to tell you more about it."
Gnarly Head... unopened Gnarly Head...
7. Do you like having your picture made?
"NO!"
Ok, next question...
8. What question do you want me to ask you?
"Is that the question?"
Yes
"If I could be anything, what would I want to be?"
OK, If you could be anything, what would you want to be?
"I'd be a kidney stones kidney stone, so they could see how painful they are."
Oh.
"Wait, the boss of a State Farm Agent."
9. What do you miss the most about Texas?
"My dog."
Do you think he misses you?
This was Addison's answer...
11. This question was posed by one Uncle Ron. He asked, If you could travel to any planet you wanted ... and please don't just consider planets in our solar system... what would it be?
"That's such a good question! I don't think I can come up with a bad answer," replied the interviewee. (that's Addison)
His Uncle Ron gave him a little extra information before he answered, "By the way, Uranus is no longer a planet."
"Uh... Humboldt County?"
12. What's your favorite sport?
"Soccey... "
I think this interviewer had a quizzicle look on her face....
"It's a combination of soccer and hockey. It's a dangerous sport, kicking the puck!"
Oh....
13. Another question from the audience by Uncle Ron... " Addison, Humboldt County has a very interesting culture. What would you do to fit into the culture?"
"I would become a legal advisor for ... for the farmer."
14. If you could live anywhere and do anything you wanted, what would it be?
"Like...no limitations?"
No limitations.
"I'd live in one of those houses that looks out over the bridge (the Golden Gate)...What's that road?"
19th Street...
"Ok, yeah, and I'd be the owner of the San Jose Sharks."
His Uncle Ron then informed him that he's be in the shark tank.
Addison withheld his laughter...
"Actually," said Addison, "I'd be the owner of ASRoma. That way I could travel to Europe every Sunday to watch them play."
Because it was getting late... Addison told me we needed to end this interview...his appearance fee was escalating beyond my ability to pay...
He just waved... and said, "Adios..."
His Aunt and Uncle in California have LOVED having him here!
5 comments:
Addison, apparently when you were asked the question; "What do you miss most about Texas", You must have misunderstood the question when you answered Vito. I know you meant DAD.
DAD, UJ, Brother, etc!
Oh Addison,
Now that I have perjured you I feel I need to make it up to you somehow.
Knowing your affection for the HH, I have decided to help you. Here is the plan...
I will take your "nice" clothes and wad them up into a ball and bury them in a compost heap for 2 weeks, during which time you are strictly FORBIDDEN to shower or brush your teeth or shave or anything else that resembles personal hygene. When you are extra ripe, I will douse you with Patchouli oil and mess up your hair.
What happens after that is beyond my control but if everything goes well you will be sharing acorns and hibiscus root with a lucky lady that smells as bad as you.
Sincerely,
Cousin GABE!
Ha ha! Gabe you are all too familiar with the life of the local HHs. Were you secretely living the "natural" lifestyle while living in Humboldt?
Gabe,
That is just fine. Thoese who have only half my potential are often bitter. BUT I will take the higher road. I will take what you said as a compliment.
Addison
Ok the more I think about it I humbley bow out to Gabe. His whit is greater than mine.
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